Thursday, July 06, 2006

It's Hard Out Here for a Temp

If there is one thing I miss about a permanent job, it's the security of know that as long as your there on time you'll get a check. An extremely large portion of the American working population are temporary employees (aka disposable job flunkies).

I currently work for a District of Columbia agency that is so full of shit that my time sheets are filled out on toilet paper. These bammas make up rules as they see fit. They force their employees into a health plan they didn't want but could not turn down like the Godfather or something (an offer I can't refuse). And they make me pay for it by deducting my hourly rate.

This is some ole Enron - Kennith Lay's ghost type of shiesty shit. It's already hard to make ends meet but when I have to compete with the likes of some Evil Empire it gets even worse. I guess the only good to come out of it is available blogging time.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What did the 5 fingers say to the face? (Slap)

Everybody has the one person you would sell your soul for just to smack the shit out them. That person might be doing everything in their power to make your life a living hell or they might just be so annoying that a firm open-handed slap might be the only way to communicate with them.

I was always doing something I shouldn't as a youngin. If I wasn't drawing in an important book or ripping out the pages, I was cursing at nun in catholic school or pissing on a electrical socket (childhood was fun). Anyway, my mother would put me in my place like valet parking by giving me a Sugar Ray Leonard slap (where she'd wind up her arm a couple of times to distract me) that would have my ears ringing afterwards. Whenever I hear bells ringing it reminds me of someone getting the shit slapped out of them.

Why is Maryland for Haters?

Do you agree? Virginia is for lovers and Maryland is for Haters! I have lived her most of my life and I think there's truth to that statement. Old or young, fat or skinny, male or female - it doesn't matter the demographic. This state is filled with Hate. We are known for our Cheasepeake crabs and we act like crabs in a barrel. I've see a little girl hate on my daughter because of her hair and the other kid's hair was the same as hers!? I get repeatedly hated on by my upstairs neighbor because the pizza delivery dude will bring my food to my front door but makes him get his from the parking lot cause he's scared of being robbed.

Luckily, I get a daily transfusion of truth to prevent the hate in my blood but like any bad condition it bound to get worse.

If your state is also filled with hate, let me know an tell em bout it.